Tales of a Rookie Wall Street Investment Banker - Bill Keenan

Written by Bill Keenan
Format: MP3

A newly-minted MBA recounts his first years as a Wall Street investment banker—unredacted.

“Why aren’t you using LTM EBITDA for credit metrics?” asked the managing director who sat across from me, his widow’s peak clearly visible as he inspected the sheet in front of him. His spacious office looked out onto New York Harbor.

“Bust,” said the vice president, a younger, douchier version of Widow’s Peak. He slashed his red ballpoint pen across the sheet and flipped to the next page.

“Walk me through the debt paydown and your interest rate assumptions,” continued the VP.

“Pretty dovish view. Maybe the Fed knows what they’re doing after all,” said Widow’s Peak. He shot a glance at the VP. They shared a chuckle—at what, I couldn’t tell you.

This question about interest rates I knew: Dovish, I thought. Doves fly south for the winter, so dovish is downwards…low interest rates—

“We’re running short on time,” said Widow’s Peak. He flipped to the cover page of my presentation. “One final point—all pitch decks should have the same title.”