Not Part of a Trilogy or Series - Robert Rankin

Written by Robert Rankin
Format: MP3

These are titles available on audiobook, but are not part of a trilogy or series, to the best of my knowledge.

* A Dog Called Demolition
Each one of us has an invisible space alien perched upon our shoulders controlling our thoughts. This is not a good thing!
Danny used to be a sad and lonely man, but now he is happy. Because now Danny has a dog of his very own. A nice big dog with a waggy tail and a smiley face. The dog’s name is Demolition but only Danny can see him.

Men from The Ministry of Serendipity are monitoring Danny’s every move. They have a special agent on the case, his name is Parton Vrane and he is half man and half cockroach.

Described as a nightmare journey to Hell and back, with only a brief stop off at a KFC for a quick bucket of grub and a visit to the toilet, A Dog called Demolition is a genuine horror story. Where Silence of the Lambs and Seven merely dipped their toes in terror’s icy waters, Robert Rankin boldly takes off his lurex sock and really puts his foot in it.

*Apocalypso
The Ministry of Serendipity control everything. They run this world from their secret underground lair beneath Mornington Crescent Underground Station in London. And when they learn of the crashed alien spacecraft lying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, they send out their crack team of paranormal investigators to recover it.

Secret dossiers suggest that this spacecraft contains a mad alien that was once worshipped as a god because of its terrible telepathic powers. And that it is even now lying in suspended animation, awaiting its time to rise again and rule the world once more.

* Fandom of the Operator
It was originally known as Project Orpheus. A genuine top secret World War Two operation to communicate with the dead. It proved to be highly successful and helped the Allies win the war. But in the 1950s something went terribly wrong. That’s when the aliens from another world took over the communication system and another war entirely began.

For Gary Charlton Cheese, it all began when he was ten years old. At that time his hobbies included, sneaking into the restricted section of the local library, reading the Lazlo Woodbine novels of P. P. Penrose and attempting to raise the dead. Gary was not the kind of boy who was ever going to make his mother proud.

* Nostradamus ate my hampster
There’s a Nazi flying saucer parked on the allotments and Adolf Hitler is hiding in a shed behind The Flying Swan. There’s this great red insect creature that eats time and a man who appears to be made out of spare parts is stealing the milk from doorsteps.

Ah Brentford.

And now they are making a movie there. And it will be unlike any other. All the world famous movie stars are going to be in it. The dead ones anyway. There is this special equipment, you see, called CYBERSTAR, that projects lifelike holograms of the Hollywood greats and as soon as Russell has raised that £40 000 000 they’ll go into production.

* The Greatest Show off Earth
The last thing Raymond expected when he went down to his allotment was to be abducted by a flying starfish from Uranus. But these things happen and when he learns that he is being sold as a delicacy in a Venusian auction, he is grateful to be rescued by the travelling circus.

But this is not your everyday circus, this is Professor Merlin’s Greatest Show off Earth, with ancient exotic performers who travel between the inhabited worlds in a Victorian steamship. The professor has a job for Raymond: release the two hundred people held prisoner on Saturn and save the population of planet Earth from extinction.

* The Witches of Chiswick
Have you ever wondered how Victorians dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That THE WAR OF THE WORLDS was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo’ s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man?

And what about the other stuff? Did you know that Queen Victoria had a sexual relationship with Dr Watson? Or that the elephant man was a product of an E.T./human hybridisation programme? Or that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future?

Read on: and learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen’s Guild, working with advanced Babbage super-computers, rewrote 19th Century history, and how a 23rd Century boy called Will Starling uncovered the truth about everything.

* Web Site Story
The millennium bug was real. It just wasn’t that kind of a bug.

It is something far worse, a computer virus that made the deadly species crossover from machine to man. And it is amongst us NOW! Spreading unseen and unsuspected. Any of us could be infected. You might just have caught it this very minute!!! Scary, eh?

And that’s not all.

Folk are disappearing: can it be as some suspect, the Rapture that heralds the End of Days, or is it something else altogether? Something never before experienced?

It all began when Big Bob Charker’s Tour of Brentford bus came to a terrible end in the High Street and the bodies of the victims began to dissolve in the Cottage Hospital. The local police are baffled, they are going to need a new kind of hero to deal with what is going on.

And here comes one now.